I am a bitch. Pissed off about everything. Sirens have been going off all morning and all I can think is, “Why can’t people just enjoy a Saturday morning?”
Being a bitch is an inherent sign that a person is unhappy. Why am I unhappy then? I don’t know. My life is not what I want it to be. Things are not the way I want them to be.
A bitch is impossible to please. You see, the thing about being a bitch is that nothing can ever be the way that they want it to be. Nothing will ever meet their expectations. There will always be problems. This is why being a bitch is a real mental illness that has usually grown out of a lifetime spent in conflict.
A bitch usually has a parent or parents who were bitchy. These parents or parent raised them on a diet of bitchiness. I have grown up in continual conflict. My father knew how to make money and problems. These were his gifts. There was always money. There was always problems. This is what I grew up in.
Maybe this is why I am such a bitch. Maybe I really can blame it on my father molding my mind around problems.
Alcohol is the one solution for a bitch. Not always but often a bitch is much happier when drinking. A bitch is much more able to express love when under the influence of moderate amounts of booze. If a bitch drinks too much things can get bleak. If a bitch does not drink at all things can get bleak.
A bitch is fucked. They are basically doomed to be unhappy. They continually create their own unhappiness. They are wired to sabotage all goodness in their lives.
I’m in a continual state of bitchiness. Especially when I don’t allow myself a glass of red wine a night. Especially when I don’t listen to music all the time. Especially when I think about the conditions of the surrounding world. Especially when I think about what I have accomplished in my life. Especially when I think about money. Especially when I have to do things that I do not want to do. Especially when I spend too much time with a person. Especially when I think someone is dumb. Especially when I am not interested in a person. Especially when I am bored. Especially when I am not doing the things I need to be doing. Especially when I have to pretend to be someone I am not. Especially when I realize that so many other people are doing creative things in the world that I seem incapable of doing or figuring out. Especially when everything in my house is not exactly as it should be. Especially when someone speaks to me in the wrong tone. Especially……..